hernia

i've managed to tear yet another hole in this body.

here is a transcription of my doctor's appointment:

doctor enters room.

"what seems to be the problem?"

"i have some sensitivity in my lower abdomen."

"alright, let's take a look."

me dropping pants. doctor putting on gloves.

"where is it exactly?"

me pointing to it.

"cough please. again. again. again. you have a hernia. i'll book you a surgical consult and the front desk will give you a call to confirm your appointment."

doctor gets up to leave.

"what exactly does that mean?"

"we don't book the surgical consults, we call and arrange it on your behalf."

"no. i mean what exactly is a hernia."

"oh. right. ok..." doctor goes on to explain hernia using a piece of tissue and a pen, tearing the pen through the tissue.

what is so troubling with his five second appointment is that he ushered me out without any kind of advice on what it was safe/unsafe for me to do, how to tell if it is getting worse, and what to do if that happens.

since i didn't know what a hernia was (i thought it was something you did to your back), i thought i had just strained a muscle or something. after a few months i figured there was a more serious problem.

between my record-breaking doctor's visit (in 'quickest and most irresponsible category') and the surgical consult there is a three and half month wait. i wonder if i'll go under the knife before december? bets?

reno

one of the reasons this site has gone quiet are the extensive renovations we've been doing to a house. with opened walls revealing a giant mess worse than we (or the home inspection) anticipated, it's been a slowly receding nightmare. things are fixed and now it is the long haul of closing it back up and making it livable.

friends have asked if i would do it again, and i reply that i would if i wasn't working full time and commuting. i don't mind the work in the least, but i do mind the absence of many other creative projects in my life. i have written quite a lot during my daily commute, but you can't really paint or edit film on the train.

some highlights of the reno include finding cat5 wiring in an electrical socket as a jumper, the 4" cast-iron broken elbow that fell out of the ceiling and almost brained me while i brought the ceiling down (disconnected long ago and left floating in the ceiling above the drywall), and the discovery of severe rot due to water running down beside and behind the front concrete staircase. not to mention multiple points of hot electrical wiring buried in the walls without marretts, and an old cast-iron bathtub that was ready to make a quick migration from the main floor to the basement.

and the home inspection didn't catch this because it was all hidden away behind the walls. we knew the place had problems and would require a serious overhaul that we hoped to accomplish over a few years. it was a little worse than anticipated, to understate.

the fantastic part is that i managed to give myself a hernia somewhere along the line.

cancon

i've officially put cancon on indefinite hiatus, rather than hoping i would get some burst of energy and quantity of time to work on it. not going to happen any time soon. i learned a lot from this project, and know how i will approach future projects along the same lines. the focus on interviews was what made it the most fun for me, and this is where my next project will take off. this probably won't be soon.

in the meantime, i'm going to try and give some attention back to this site.