looks as though i may be heading back to calgary sooner than later. at least it will be warmer, although i was told it snowed almost a foot there a few days ago (freakish, i was assured).

in the meantime i scurry through the streets of vancouver, spending far too much time watching people shoot up. the other day my co-worker almost lost his lunch watching a guy shoot up into an open wound on his hand. it’s amazing that if you spend long enough down there the extreme becomes the ordinary. disease and infection nothing more than pedestrian affairs.

everyone has a theory on how to fix it (most involving some kind of mass murder), but no one really considers the root, the social causality. everyone is in the downtown eastside for a reason. the overarching social problem is comprised of these thousands of “reasons”.

i want to document this, observe it, work on it. but how? even after only a year of being down there i’m getting jaded and cynical about the whole mess. the shocking become routine, my empathy turned to disgust.

all i have is words, but they feel useless after i have written them. who gives a fuck what some middle class shit has to say? i’m nothing more than a privileged voyeur.