two women scramble to press the security thingy below the window on skytrain. instead, they press the sticker that says "press the yellow strip below for assistance." why the panic? some guy had decided the morning commute was as good a time as any to pull out his junk and make sweet love to himself.

skytrain pulled him off. other women on the train gathered round to hear the tale from one of the primary victims. "he was masturbating. right there. the guy in the blue jacket."

i almost burst out laughing. the first thing that came to mind was chappelle's bit about the homeless dude masturbating on the bus.

this from the guardian:

Rescuers have safely evacuated almost all the 1,600 passengers and crew from a Greek cruise ship which began listing after striking rocks today off the holiday island of Santorini.

The Greek-flagged Sea Diamond, carrying 1,200 passengers and 400 crew, had to be abandoned after running aground as it approached the main harbour of Santorini island in the Aegean Sea, Greek authorities said.

look at that proportion of passengers to crew. 1 crew member for 3 passengers. that's insane. does that mean if you get two friends together you can appropriate a crew member?

there was a three month wait for the hernia surgery. to be fair, there were two other openings earlier, but i couldn't take them.

i was surprised at how brutal the aftermath of the surgery was. the surgery itself was a charm, the anaesthetic lovely, dreamy, more please.

and then the aftermath. we still live in the little attic due to the state of destruction on the main floor. negotiating stairs with an ice pack on your goods is not fun. i couldn't believe how much the surgery agitated everything. and the bruising. ugh. stuff gets bruised that you don't want to see bruised. the codeine made me ill, but i was terrified to puke since i thought i might rip something. so i stopped the codeine. but then the pain was so bad i almost blacked out walking to the bathroom. so i got back on the drugs. and then the power went out for several days during that nasty wind storm. we ended up hitting a hotel. what a misadventure.

needless to say, i'm trying my best to avoid any more injuries. i was relaying this to a friend and he noted that his father-in-law was going for his fifth hernia surgery. fifth?! did he not learn the first time?! masochist. i can't begin to imagine going through that again. and that was minor surgery, really. open heart surgery? i shudder.

watched godard's passion yesterday at cinematheque. did a mad race after spending a day insulating walls. eyes burning, trying to decide whether to hop on the train and go at all. while having a quick scrub i decided i would go for raoul coutard's cinematography. and it was worth it. the print was a bit scuffed and scraped but there are some luscious shots in that film. as for the plot, it was about a director resisting the idea of a plot. kind of. sort of. you know, it was godard. it'll rattle around inside my head for a few days while i try and put the little jigsaw puzzle pieces of quote/narrative together. or give up and simply enjoy remembering the pretty moving pictures.

it doesn't get any better than monkeypaws medeski and gang. wood did an opening bluegrass (is that the right genre name?) set with his brother. then mmw played until 1am and we danced our asses off, like you can't help but do.

commodore ballroom
sept 21, 2006

i've managed to tear yet another hole in this body.

here is a transcription of my doctor's appointment:

doctor enters room.

"what seems to be the problem?"

"i have some sensitivity in my lower abdomen."

"alright, let's take a look."

me dropping pants. doctor putting on gloves.

"where is it exactly?"

me pointing to it.

"cough please. again. again. again. you have a hernia. i'll book you a surgical consult and the front desk will give you a call to confirm your appointment."

doctor gets up to leave.

"what exactly does that mean?"

"we don't book the surgical consults, we call and arrange it on your behalf."

"no. i mean what exactly is a hernia."

"oh. right. ok..." doctor goes on to explain hernia using a piece of tissue and a pen, tearing the pen through the tissue.

since i didn't know what a hernia was (i thought it was something you did to your back), i thought i had just strained a muscle or something. after a few months i figured there was a more serious problem.

between my record-breaking doctor's visit (in 'quickest and most irresponsible category') and the surgical consult there is a three and half month wait. i wonder if i'll go under the knife before december? bets?

one of the reasons this site has gone quiet are the extensive renovations we've been doing to a house. with opened walls revealing a giant mess worse than we (or the home inspection) anticipated, it's been a slowly receding nightmare. things are fixed and now it is the long haul of closing it back up and making it livable.

friends have asked if i would do it again, and i reply that i would if i wasn't working full time and commuting. i don't mind the work in the least, but i do mind the absence of many other creative projects in my life. i have written quite a lot during my daily commute, but you can't really paint or edit film on the train.

some highlights of the reno include finding cat5 wiring in an electrical socket as a jumper, the 4" cast-iron broken elbow that fell out of the ceiling and almost brained me while i brought the ceiling down (disconnected long ago and left floating in the ceiling above the drywall), and the discovery of severe rot due to water running down beside and behind the front concrete staircase. not to mention multiple points of hot electrical wiring buried in the walls without marretts, and an old cast-iron bathtub that was ready to make a quick migration from the main floor to the basement.

and the home inspection didn't catch this because it was all hidden away behind the walls. we knew the place had problems and would require a serious overhaul that we hoped to accomplish over a few years. it was a little worse than anticipated, to understate.

the fantastic part is that i managed to give myself a hernia somewhere along the line.

i've officially put cancon on indefinite hiatus, rather than hoping i would get some burst of energy and quantity of time to work on it. not going to happen any time soon. i learned a lot from this project, and know how i will approach future projects along the same lines. the focus on interviews was what made it the most fun for me, and this is where my next project will take off. this probably won't be soon.

in the meantime, i'm going to try and give some attention back to this site.

the house insurers want to pull the policy and my sanity is frayed. renovations are nearly three months underway and the end is nowhere in sight. a basement went from being a small reno to a complete strip and rebuild from the foundation up. there are photos, ugly and dark, but they will have to wait for a day when i again have time for such frivolity.

the great man is dead by his own hand. there is sadness and grief. i often don't have much in the way of sympathy for suicides, but hunter is an exception. his wasn't a botched cry for help. he made a decision and followed through with it, whatever his reasons.

in my selfishness i reckon that i'm sick of losing favourite writers. too many of them are disappearing, and it is a reminder of my own aging. fear and loathing is the funniest and most remarkable book i've had the pleasure to read aloud to many good friends. i think we can be consoled by the knowledge that his books will still be in print for a good damned while.

perhaps hunter left this kingdom of fear in search of a new one that isn't expecting a surprise visitor. wherever his molecules have scattered, i'm thankful the world sustained and tolerated the likes of him for as long as it did.